My Battle Cry

"I'm not sure I can handle waiting anymore," I screamed out into the empty void. I was in major frustration and had paralyzing fear concerning my singleness as I approached my mid-century. Honestly, I had lost all hope. I have been waiting on God for a husband for almost three decades. I had started to feel that my dream of walking down the aisle was slipping away, along with all the promises God had given me for marriage.

All my friends were married and with their own families. I was constantly the odd man out. My struggle for a plus one became a constant panic for every social invitation I received. I looked around my church - no men! My community - been there and dated that! Prospects for a potential husband looked very dim! In the absence of proof, my faith was wavering.

I was very close to getting so angry with God that I was ready to throw in the towel. I watched everyone around me find love and enjoy their "happily ever after." Every time I attended another wedding, a piece of my heart died. I felt overlooked by God and disrespected by many in my circle, and my identity was in the beginning of crisis mode.

But then I found my battle cry.

Though the cherry trees don't blossom

    and the strawberries don't ripen,

Though the apples are worm-eaten

    and the wheat fields stunted,

Though the sheep pens are sheepless

    and the cattle barns empty,

I'm singing joyful praise to God.

    I'm turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.

Counting on God's Rule to prevail,

    I take heart and gain strength.

I run like a deer.

    I feel like I'm the king of the mountain!

~Habakkuk 3:17-19 (The Message)

I search the trees to see a bloom and find not a single bud.

I lost my voice and couldn't sing.

My life was barren, with no growth in sight.

In that barrenness, Habakkuk reminded me that there was a choice to trust God even when my heart was so weak.

I was 47 years old when I met my husband. Far older than I ever imagined, and by then, I assumed I would never get married and have a family of my own. But in God's perfect timing, He brought my ideal husband, who had three children, wrapped in one beautiful package.

His perfect will unfolded in ways I could not imagine. God not only fulfilled my heart's desire, but He gave me far beyond what I could comprehend. If it weren't for my moment with Habakkuk, I would have thrown in the towel and missed my miracle.  

~ Lizzie (name changed by request.)