The Last Frontier

Going on an "Alaskan Cruise" had for years been tucked away in the recesses of my mind. I had all but forgotten about the hope of "one day."

But God knew and was waiting for just the right moment—His Perfect Timing—to present His Gift.

The Father had known my thoughts and feelings, what I had been dreaming about for months, my desire to plan something special for our wedding anniversary last month. It felt "pressing," with a "sense of urgency," and the need to embrace whatever time we have left, whatever that may be.

So, the Father planned Big for us, beyond what I could have imagined, The Alaskan Cruise, on the "Queen Elizabeth," the same cruise line my in-laws took 25 years ago, telling us it was "their best trip ever.”

It was a British Royal ship, fit for a queen. A Queen, a reminder of who I am, His Royal Daughter, so The Perfect Gift.

When the opportunity arose, I couldn't see the gift beyond my pain and energy level, even to consider a trip like this. Traveling has been one of my greatest challenges over the past five years.

In a moment alone in stillness and quiet, I began to hear the Father's whispers,

“Why a ‘No’ so immediately?"

I knew fear had been my knee-jerk reaction.

My heart and mind opened with His gentle and tender love. As fears surfaced, tears welled up. For most of my life, I have felt brave and adventurous. I never thought "fear" was something I housed, but with His Great Uncovering these last six months proved otherwise. The Father does not want me to live in fear; He is committed to my freedom.

So came Jesus' gentle but clear voice again. He asked,

"Could this trip be something I want for you?"

Hmmm, I hadn't given that a thought.

Then Truth, like a flashlight pointing to a spot in the dark,

"You didn't give your husband a chance to be part of the decision."

Gulp.

Surely he wouldn't even consider going. This was so last-minute; spontaneity is my "go-to," not his. Much to my surprise, he immediately said, "Yes, and let's find out more information."

Oh no! I hadn't expected that. I was still FULL of fear.

God would have to help me, big time. There were so many confirmations that this was from God. We made our final "yes" and began our plans to go on "The Trip Of A Lifetime." At the same time, I was on an inward journey with God, "delivering me from all my fears."

One by one, I named each of my fears, both big and small. Later, as I considered our location, cruising into "The Ring Of Fire," I added earthquake, tsunami, and volcano to my list (and all three happened during our last 24 hours of the cruise). I journaled my fears and what was actually behind each one, and God had an answer, with a promise that He would deliver me from ALL my fears (Ps. 34:4). I wanted Him to zap fear out of me in a blink. I knew He could do that, but He wanted me to join Him and do this together, Hand in Hand.

My part would be with Him, climbing out on several limbs, jumping, and then TRUSTING HIM in everything.

Every day we saw the Goodness of The Father's Heart, and at the same time were in Awe and Wonder at the Beauty of His Hand.

My daily prayer was, and continues to be,

Father, I give you all my fears. I trust You to carry me, to help me, and deliver me from all my fears, as they are now, and as they come up.

Help me to remain in Your Love, in Your Presence. Amen.